You might think there's plenty of girls in the world, but your options are bleaker than you think. This page will show you why.

To find the number of potentially sexible girls in an area, use the process of elimination. Everyone does this subconsciously already. As an example, here is a small group of people.

Starting with 14 people your age, only 6 are female.

Four of those are straight.

Two of those are single.

Of two girls, one will always have some issue that
obliterates all sexual desire and makes you pity
the guy who's desperate enough dick her.

That leaves one girl.

Of all the people in the photo, she is the only doable human. That image is from Google so I don't know who she is, but I'd drop my pants so fast for that girl, it would leave a ring of dust around my waist. I'd look like Saturn in a t-shirt. I'd give her enough roofies to shelter the homeless. If that girl is you, let me know so I can start cleaning off the condoms stuck to my bed post. Actually I take that back. She's gross. Okay she's kinda cute. Stop judging me.

In that scenario, it was 1/14. However, using a small sample of people isn't accurate.

Say there's 20,000 people in a stadium. How many of them are girls that you could potentially get with?


20,000 people
10,200 of those are female (51%)
836 of those are your age (8.2%)
209 of those are attractive (25%)
105 of those are tolerable (50%)
54 of those are single (49%)
49 of those are straight (90%)

(hypothetical depiction of 49 eligible females)

In a stadium full of people, all
the eligible girls could fit into this classroom.

And the professor is probably banging two of them which brings the count to 47.

This doesn't take into account STDs, state laws, and the fact that some guys are pickier than others. Saying 25% of all girls are attractive is a generous estimate, as well as 50% being tolerable.

Also, it doesn't include the actual possibility of getting with the girl. Just because you'd fuck 49 girls doesn't mean they'd all fuck you. The actual number of girls you could get with depends on your ruggedness and how many bears you've killed and your ability to kayak up trees.

Have you ever wondered how many girls there are in your entire town? At my I discuss it with my friends sometimes. They all seem way too optimistic. They're horny little grommet DnD players. They'd fuck anything wet and hairy.

This is Missoula, Montana where I live. It has 67k people.

Using the same percentages as before -
67,000 people
32,170 of those are female
2637 of those are the right age
659 of those don't have dread locks
329 of those aren't too busy trying to save shit
of those are single
155 of those are straight

If you think the girl of your dreams is going to fall into your lap at some house party, guess again. The odds are against you. That's why I sit in my room alone snorting vodka pellets and beating off to sluts I draw on my Lite-Bright.


Even 67k might be small. This is an even bigger example.
Jacksonville, Florida has a population of one million.

1,000,000 people
510,000 have vaginas
41,820 aren't old hags watching TV
10,455 aren't freakishly disgusting
5,228 are tolerable
2893 don't have their vaginas occupied
2632 are straight

Out of a city with a million people, you could fit all the scroggable girls into these bleachers:

Imagine this entire theater filled with beautiful naked girls. 2632 girls in a 2600 seat house. There would have to be a little lap sitting. I'd give sex toys to everyone and broadcast porn on the main stage and have a huge steamy dildothon in spite of the entire state and its population of pedophilic war veterans.

I did the eligability count for other big cities:

New York, NY
18,507 girls
Los Angeles, CA
14,052 girls
Chicago, IL
7550 girls
Toronto, ON 5530 girls
Houston, TX
4289 girls
Philadelphia, PA
2893 girls
Phoenix, AZ
2654 girls
Tokyo, Japan 6,184,500 girls
(all Asian chicks are hot)
San Diego, CA
2334 girls
Dallas, TX
2179 girls
Detroit, MI
1398 girls
San Jose, CA
1364 girls
San Francisco, CA  1595 girls
Louisville, KY
326.4 girls
Memphis, TN
7 girls
Seattle, WA
1298 girls
Washington, DC
1183 girls
Portland, OR
1017 girls
Las Vegas, NV
(prostitutes included)
212 girls
Las Vegas, NV
(prostitutes excluded)
62,612 girls
Tucson, AZ 1336 girls
Entire United States 624,474 girls

Over a half of a million girls in the United States. That seems like a big number until you take into account the price of airplane tickets.

Speaking of airplanes, here's an interesting one -

In the 9/11 attacks, 3,030 people died.

3,030 people
1,543 of those are female
128 of those are your age
36 of those are attractive
18 of those are tolerable
9 of those are single
8 of those are straight

Only eight chicks died. So what's the big deal? People call this event a tragedy, but it's hard to put such a drastic term on it. The whole episode is mighty insignificant as far as my dick is concerned.

It sucks to see you girls go, but there are other fish in the NYC.

This algorithm can be used pretty easily on any amount of people. Except when the sample population is skewed.

This is using the same method to find the number of doable girls on MySpace-

196,406,691 accounts total
100,167,412 are female
8,213,727 are the right age
2,053,431 are attractive
1,026,716 are tolerable
503,091 are single
452,781 are straight

If you've ever been to for a few minutes, you'll realize how incredible wrong this statistic is. The algorithm needs several adjustments due to the demographically fucked nature of MySpace.

196,406,691 accounts total
132,050,034 aren't shitty bands
128,874,030 aren't awful comedians
74,236,020 aren't aspiring some sort of fame for their "talents"
54,140,629 aren't cheesy try-hard gimmicks
29,408,724 are real people
25,770,029 are female
12,530,992 are actually female
7,503,220 aren't miserably weak sauce or otherwise lametarded
2,205,0460 are single
1,300,834 are actually single
235,962 are legal
53,239 are actually legal
8,420 are attractive
1,253 aren't chach moppers
13 of are straight

There are only thirteen doable girls on the entire MySpace website. Here is a photo of all of them together.


Wait, I changed my mind.


So if you marked the "Here for dating" check box when you signed up, sorry about your luck. You have a better chance standing around tall buildings waiting for a terrorist attack and catching the nearest girl that falls.

In the world:

Out of 6.3 billion people -
  *assuming you're okay with sticking it in malnourished Ethiopian chicks. Which is a rough decision because if you say yes, you're desperate and horny. But if you say no, you're prejudiced and bigoted.

In conclusion, we live in a big world, but there really aren't that many chicks. So grab one while you can and fuck her shitless. If she tries to resist and screams in a vagina bubbling terror, pause for a minute and make her read this article. Then she'll understand completely and let you proceed to rape her with minimal whining. Remember, It's all about communication. The best way to shut them up is to make them think you care.

Sources: Click here if you're a skeptical asshole

August 15th, 2007

HomeGo to random article