Hatemail Page 1

"isaac miller" <isaac1cap@hotmail.com>
To: thilo@ninjapirate.com
Subject: You know what i hate................. YOU,
Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2004 6:30:20 -0700

Wow after reading your site I was amazed at how INCREDIBLY STUPID it is.

Besides the fact that you obviosly suck balls and are a total loser nothing
you write is even clever.
If you are trying to make your page funny than you are a total moron because
any shitface can throw together more coherent shit than this. I saw your
page and thought it might be funny cause i like maddox but it is terrible. I
would rather lick your microscopic balls than read your spider shit again or
any other of your stupid articles for that matter.
For example the "Super Sayian Jesus "article, you have to insult religions
to have any idea moron. You are going to hell cuz you cant respect religion.
Do your self a favor, shut down your site or go kill yourself to save god the
trouble.

You'd rather lick my balls than read a page on my website? I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you're my gayest fan. I dont' care how bad my webpage is, if you'd rather lick my balls than read it, you are a queer. Period. That's pretty much universal for any webpage and any set of balls.

I wasn't planning on ever putting this picture on my site because I was worried I'd go to hell for it. However, you say I'm going to hell anyway so I guess I have nothing to lose.

M Herg <herg15@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, April 26, 2004 7:28 PM
To: thilo@ninjapirate.com
Subject: Don't be a pussy

I recently arrived at your site by way of a link from another site. At first I was appalled by the fact that you would hamelessly copy Maddox's format, but didn't deem that worthy of writing an email. Especially since it appeared that everybody had attacked you for it already, and you admitted yourself that you were just an attention whore so I figured it wasn't worth addressing. What really bothered me about your site was your article titled "I hate niggers." (I realize this article was written a while ago, but I just recently found your site, so it's new to me.) In general, I couldn't care less what you put on your
personal site, but it bothered me because of the fact that you were so blatantly imitating Maddox, but at the same time disgracing everything that he stands for. Posting a link with a racist comment and then writing "just kidding" isn't funny, it means you're a pussy. I don't really give a shit if you are a total racist, or a civil rights activist, just don't be a pussy. If you really do hate niggers, then say you hate niggers. If you don't, then why post a link making the claim, only to be a complete politically correct pussy by retracting your statement and pretending it was all just a joke? If you're going to be a Maddox rip-off, then do it with some honor, don't be the pussy version.

I write an article called "I hate niggers" and then retract my statement by saying, "Just kidding." You claim that I'm a pussy because I didn't follow through with hating black people. By calling me a pussy, you are implying that you aren't one. And if your definition of a "pussy" is someone who doesn't hate black people, that means that you yourself hate black people. You racist fuck.

I don't hate niggers, but I do hate you.

Miss Virginia is talking about my article on Keiko, the killer whale.

From: klightbourn@nhs.org [SMTP:klightbourn@nhs.org]
Sent: Sunday, March 29, 2004 3:29 PM
To: thilo@ninjapirate.com
Subject: NHS

I can see that you are upset! Except, you are pointing the finger at the
wrong organization. I am with the National Humane Society and am confident this
was not our group. Please tell me where you obtained this information so that
you can focus your upset towards the appropriate group.

Meanwhile, you have now been noticed of your error and we request that your
organization removes this article because it is wrongfully damaging our
reputation.

Sincerely,
Kellie Lightbourn, Esq

I looked up "Kellie Lightbourn" on google and came across pictures of Miss Virginia. I wrote her back asking if she was the real Ms. VA. I also explained how sorry I was for giving the NHS a bad reputation, as well as how much I wanted to scrog her.

From: klightbourn@nhs.org [SMTP:klightbourn@nhs.org]
Sent: Sunday, April 3, 2004 1:12 PM
To: thilo@ninjapirate.com
Subject: Re: NHS

Thilo,

I appreciate the compliment because yes I was Miss Virginia.
You have done some of your research ... but not all ...I am also an Attorney, not a kid!

I would like to help you determine who the appropriate agency is. I can tell
by the article your heart is in the right place. And I am sure you want to
discover the appropriate group as well. You are welcome to contact me at
(***) ***-****.

Also, If you want proof please give me your information and I will forward
the appropriate documents to you!!

Kellie Lightbourn, Esq.

All I can say is...

I was skeptical at first so I took Kellie's offer and requested that she forward her information to me. Trust me, it's really her. I can't scan the documents because that's way too illegal. However, this should be enough proof that it's a genuine identity:

http://www.angelfire.com/dc2/usnico/vienna-pageant.html - Kellie as Ms. Virginia

Her email claims to be a lawyer, and here is Kellie Lightbourne the lawyer:

http://www.abcactionnews.com/personalities/kellie.shtml

By the pictures, you can tell it's the same person.

She may have just found my site, saw my picture, and needed a reason to hook up with me. However, http://news.statesmanjournal.com/article.cfm?i=72210 mentions that in 1995, the NHS became a sponsor of the Free Willy/Keiko Foundation. You may be hot and smart, but you're still wrong. Game over.

Rick is talking about my article on Mars.

From: Rick Hays<voodosaga@hotmail.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: You are such a dumbass...

I find it halarious how people only listen to half the story and pretend like thay know the whole ordeal- take you for example: You claim this "$400,000,000 buggy" is only there to take "boring scientific pictures of sand and rocks." Little do you probably know that the sand and rocks are actually iron deposits, but I guess that was just a detail you so convienantly skipped over, just like how people thought the pictures of the moon were boring untill scientists looked at them recently and discoverd that on these "boring" pictures and a re examination of the moon rocks, they discoverd a fuel source that is, in fact, so powerful that one barrel of this helium 15 can power a reactor for 80 years if the technology is apporved- Wow the more you learn huh? So maybe on these pictures there can be more advances; therefore, empowering new technology that can think, because obviously you do not. ~Rick

I did not know that there was a fuel source on the moon or mars or anywhere else, but I do know that Einstein said, "energy equals mass times a hell of a lot." The earth weighs 6 × 10^24 kilograms, so the potential energy on our planet is enough to power every city in America for three trillion years. Trust me, we don't need another energy source. Don't believe me? Just ask the genius himself.

As for the iron deposites that I conveniently left out of my article, I'm pretty sure that it would be a wasted effort to travel millions of miles to mine resources on Mars. In fact, it would take more iron to build and support the operation than would actually be mined.

To hell with finding iron or helium. Let's use up what we have on earth before we roam around other planets with a $400,000,000 metal detector.

Mr. Biedenweg is talking about my Drum Tryout with Marzipan.

From: Scott Biedenweg <senna323232@yahoo.com>
To: Ninja Pirate <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 2:38 PM
Subject: Re: You are such a dumbass...

If you are going to try so hard to be Maddox, how about you learn proper grammar. Hey guess what you are a fucking dumbass. In "My Drum Tryout with Marzipan," on the counter you say "_____ people can't drum as good as me." Do you want to know a basic rule for when to use well vs. when to use good? Here you go, use well to describe an activity use good to describe a thing. That drumming blew anyway and it was a piece of trash, you are not good so give it up please. Oh and by the way, although you can copy Maddox's site almost entirely in format, you can never have the same wit, humor, or impact on people's lives. Maddox's site is made with great literary skill, you, on the other hand don't know basic grammar. I better wrap this up because unlike you i actually have something to do, so i would like to end this saying YOU WILL NEVER COME CLOSE TO THE GREATNESS OF MADDOX!

I didn't feel like dealing with this kind of email for the ten billionth time, so I just replied with, "I agree. you win." That wasn't enough for him and he had to harass me again:

From: Scott Biedenweg <senna323232@yahoo.com>
To: Ninja Pirate <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 8:24 PM
Subject: Re: You are such a dumbass...

That's right bitch, I win. Fucking loser, I'm glad you admitted it.

I was about to let it go when I found his weblog in my referer list. He had posted his email with my response followed by something like, "Look at this newbie Maddox wannabe piece of shit that I owned and he admits it completely." I sent him another email.

Every day I get about fifty emails from people who think they get the best of me with their redundant insults and petty, questionable flaws in my site. That's why I responded with "You win," because I don't want to write responses to every jizz gargling maggot that decides to call me on something tired and pointless.

I found your piece of trash, bullshit website. I'd rather copy Maddox than suck Xanga dick, you scumbag. If I'm never going to be as great as Maddox, you'll never be greater than a Jewish paraplegic in a concentration camp.

That wasn't the end.

From: Shaun <influx@shaw.ca>
To: thilo@ninjapirate.com
Sent: Sunday, January 04, 2004 7:41 PM
Subject: Fucking Idiot!

God, you're so fucking stupid! Do you even know why people have those ads on there site? Obviously not or you would not have been so fucking stupid to try and attempt to diss it. They have them there to sponsor there hosting, due to high bandwith chargers. Stupid fucking moron.

What are High Bandwidth Chargers? Do I plug batteries into them? Or maybe it's a new football team. You need to be more specific. Did you know that Xanga sites are free? Same with blogspot and livejournal. These people don't pay for their bandwidth, or even pay for their sites. The ads are there because people with Xanga webpages are suckers.

From: Riddle <suprariddXC@telus.net>
To: Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Sent: Wednesday, December 17, 2003 5:26 PM
Subject: I dont know about this site.

I don't see how you can say that you have not ripped off Maddox in any way. I mean, compare your site to his, they are the same thing. Do you know how many fucking people have a website titled "The Second Best Page In The Universe?" Too fucking many. At least if I had a site like this I would not rip the color scheme and have the most unoriginal title ever. just stop ripping off Maddox and be original. Asshole.

Even if I didn't use Maddox's color scheme or title my site "The Second Best Page in the Universe," I'd still be accused of copying Maddox. Am I wrong? So, if I'm going to be labeled a Maddox wannabe no matter what I do, I might as well go all out

From : ss dd<dbassfr33k@hotmail.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : asshole
Date : Sat, 8 Nov 2003 09:22:16 -0800 (PST)

you think your cool because you can copy Maddox, well everybody has done that and nobody is as good as him nor has anyone come close, including you. while you may think you're good, trust me, your not. your just a stupid asshole like the rest

by the way, stop being such an asshole

I took your advice and purchased a book to help me stop being such an asshole. After reading it, I am completely cured of my assholism and it's all thanks to you and your superb psycho-analyzation skills. Thanks again.

Just kidding, I didn't read it. Reading is stupid and so is being nice. I love being an asshole and nothing can make me change.

From : Tres Knapp <powerdude21@yahoo.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : People are such dumbasses
Date : Fri, 7 Nov 2003 19:00:56 -0800 (PST)

Your website is not as good as maddox's and never
will be. His writing style is better than yours, he
is smarter than you, and he is original. Anyone as
awesome as me will never visit your website again. Ever.

Thanks for that lovely prediction on the future of my site. Did you shake an 8-Ball and ask, "Will this guy ever be as good as Maddox?" Go away and play with some tarot cards, you're not my personal fortune teller.

Speaking of going away..

"Anyone as awesome as me will never visit your website again. Ever." Bullshit. I looked back through my IP logs and saw that Mr. Crystal Ball here visited my hatemail page at least twice per day, probably waiting for me to respond to his email and find no spelling errors.

Dana Sweatlock <razzledazzle0626@yahoo.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : YOU SUCK
Date : Thu, 6 Nov 2003 07:55:35 -0800 (PST)

I can't believe what i am reading here. Your site is just soch a horrible attempt to be maddox. Maddox is a god and you are just retarted. The page about Jesus is horribly stupid and nobody gives a crap about you and your opinion. Maybe you should lay off your computer for a little while and go get some friends because you dont seem to have any, loser.

You're the kind of person that pisses and moans all the time because you never know what's going on.

Are you saying this is a "horrible" attempt? If I was any better at copying Maddox, I'd be subject to lawsuit. Well I guess I already am and should change my layout, but naw, I'd rather keep my site the way it is just to piss off people like you.

From: " Marty Hulcoop" <shootme73@hotmail.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : I Hope Your Kidding... "
Date : Thu, 09 Oct 2003 19:05:50 +0000

I really hope you dont intend on keeping you're site up. It's an extremely sad attempt at being somewhat close to as good as maddox. Basicly your articles are shit, your idea of the site is fucking retarded and if i saw you on the street i would surly kill you.

Marty, you forgot to not write me a cliche, redundant, and banal email. I'll file this one under "idiots who don't understand what I'm doing." Basicly, this email reduces you to a shit and piss factory.

Shut the fuck up.

From : arnie stfu <lala3to4@yahoo.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : (none)
Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2003 09:46:18 -0700 (PDT)

hey maddox wannabe the website is a peice of shit..you try too hard to be funny..if maddox would see your page he would be like what a piece of shit.. go think of your own ideas you fucking idiot...be more creative at least...dont do shit thats already been done...it gets fuckin boring...and on another note go kill urself

hey hatemailer wannabe the email is a peice of shit..you try too hard to be insulting..if maddox would see your grammar he would be like what a piece of shit.. go think of something other than "you copy maddox" you fucking idiot...be more creative at least...dont do shit thats already been done...it gets fuckin boring...and on another note go learn what a comma is

Since everyone else is doing it, I decided to write myself some hatemail.

From : Thilo<thilo@ninjapirate.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : shitty site, man
Date : Sun, 13 Oct 2003 08:43:18 -0800 (PDT)

Your website is crap. All you do is piss and moan. Nothing on here was interesting to read. In fact, it flat out blows. You need to get your shit together because your a dumb person and not very smart. Okay? I recomend making a new page that is original and not just like somebody else's site that you copied because you can't think of your own unique idea. Your idea of skateboarders is stupid, they land tricks, you are just jealous cuz u can't. As for your spleen article, that is dumb because nothing in it is even remotly true. I bet you are dumb because you clog your own toilet and that's where you got he idea on the bathroom stupid page.

Bye idiot,
Ninjapirate
www.ninjapirate.com

Good call, I couldn't agree more. In fact, I've even taken the liberty of punching myself twice in the face for making such a shitty site.

From: john rash <muradin220@yahoo.com>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject: (none)
Date : Thu, 09 Oct 2003 04:22:59 +0000

dude your such a cracker......i went to your site to see if it was anything like maddox's site. But its really not that good. Maddox was fucking funny but your site is kinda gay and not really that funny. please make some new articles that is worth while to read (as being funny)

ne way later cracker

I noticed this guy had a yahoo address, so I looked at his profile. I included his picture in my response so that we can put a face to his words.

You came to my site to see if I was as good as Maddox? Isn't that obvious? His site is the Best in the Universe and mine is the Second Best.

From Bush Wacker <gotothe_bush@msn.com
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject: (none)
Date: Mon, 8 Oct 2003 7:17:22 -0800

In my lunch i took alook at ninjapirate.com and found out it was a TOTAL BAG OF SHITE that I couldn't get my head round and I got a toothache after only 32.5 seconds of looking at it so I'm off to rub some paracetamol on my gums (or a dock leaf if I can't find any). Will someone you post warning signs in future??!!

I'll probably get kicked off after writing this but I recon it takes the piss out of ninjapirate.com say hello to

You looked in your lunch and found a bag of shit? That's awful. Are you too poor to afford peanut butter, or do your parents hate you? Either way it must devastate your ego to have your mom pack you a nice assfudge sandwich each morning. What do you tell people? "It's Nutella?"

Then you couldn't get your head around the bag? You mean you stuck your head in the bag? Use a fork to eat shit, man. Then you can pick out all the gerbil teeth from your moms buttburger so you don't get any more toothaches.

From : e cole <mtnikxlant@mtintouch.net>
To : Thilo <thilo@ninjapirate.com>
Subject : pink & blue
Date : Mon, 6 Oct 2003 21:27:22 -0600

some boys love blue, and
grow up to be very gay, but
still have HUGE peepees........

I believe you are referring to my old article where I judged children. What you said has no relevance to my argument in any way, but I appreciate the time you set aside to show everyone how knowledgeable you are about large-dicked homosexuals.

To them and all the people that have and will send me hatemail:

Hatemail Page 1 < You're here

Hatemail Page 2

Hatemail Page Tsunami

people have been tempted to send me hatemaill after seeing the flailing ass of my cat.