Everyone knows that necrophilia is far superior. Sexually, as well as relationship-wise. Dead girls are more fun, less judgmental, and will never ever leave you. Unless a dog finds them.
Sex with a corpse is way better. Toss her around, kick her in the ass, punch her upside the titbags. Sometimes they fall apart, but it's a finesse thing. For example, if you like loud girls, blow into her lungs and then push down on her chest. The air will come out her vocal chords and make sexy sounds. Sometimes this will bring her back to life so it's important to keep a pick axe nearby.
And you can use the axe to put a new fuckhole in her chest plate. It's soft, lubricated, and ribbed for your pleasure. Many people claim the best sex is when you can open up to your partner. I say sex isn't great unless you can open up your partner.
Getting head from a dead girl is far better than a living one. No gag reflex, no whining, no spitting out, and no cleanup. You don't need a tongue or dirty talk or any of that. Living girls are way overqualified for the blowjob.
The great thing about dead girls is that they're customizable. There's no need to settle for a package deal. This is a woman I've been working on for a few months now, Helga.
She is perfect as far as I'm concerned. And I'm not really concerned at all. Her leg needs work. She was shrimping me up and I had eaten a lot of citrus fruit that day and my jizz singed away her flesh meat.
A few months ago, Helga caught me cheating on her. I had brought home a cute girl from class, and Helga fell out of the closet and saw me with her. I was terrified at first, but then I remembered that neither girl was capable of common sense or reason.
The possibility of a corpse orgy might seem intriguing, but it's a lot of work and takes a lot of closet space. It's easier to use one body and mount various heads onto it throughout the night. Or have one head with many faces that you spin around and take whatever face it stops on, like Wheel of Fortune. But instead of vowels, you buy anti-bacterial cream. And if it the head twists off onto the floor, you go bankrupt and have to pawn the corpse to another sick individual.
Some say that necrophiliacs have sex with dead girls because they want an unresisting and unrejecting partner. This is completely disagreeable. Here are some great reasons to have a dead girlfriend that don't involve dominance or insecurity.
- Dead girls get into movies for free.
- Dead girls don't have a problem with riding in the trunk on the way to the movies.
- Dead girls don't die when you go to the movies and accidentally leave them in the trunk. If you leave an alive girlfriend in the trunk, you remember half way through the movie. But the movie is really good, so you wait until its over and go out there and she's dead. If she were dead in the first place, it wouldn't matter. Not like it matters anyway because she's dead now regardless. Which is better anyway.
Another benefit to dead chicks is that girls without a heart beat can't get pregnant. Don't ask me why this is. I'm no doctor. All I know is that babies come out of their vagina and I don't want to think about right now that because it's disgusting.
Some people make the claim that dead girls don't offer any romance. Total bullshit. Necrophiliacs are the only people who experience true love. Because the only way you really know if someone loves you is if she knows you're a necrophiliac and still stays with you. And what's probably the most romantic thing ever is to propose to a girl on the night that you kill her. Then you can sell the ring and buy Plaster of Paris and four gallons of disinfectant.
Face it - dead girls are better. They don't eat much, they don't require protection, they don't smell as bad, they can't talk, they're disposable, they never leave you, they don't steal, and they don't cheat on you and then lie about it.
Girls usually agree with me on this. Sex is a total waste of time for them. Having sex with a living girl is like running your dogs water through a filtration system. It's a total waste of resources. Living girls should be out doing more important things. Like dying and being had sex with.